UNder-construction

meeh ; is under-construction
im building myself from the ground up to express the good qualities in myself.
Im changing myself to be a better person
and overcome some of the obstacles i go through from day to day
FOr myself to think wiser
choose better desicions for myself , so that i can help the people around meeh.
TO learn more so im not ignorant to some of the situations average people go through.
SUrround myself with the people that are goin to take part in rebuliding meeh, and maybe even rebuild themselves.

meeh; is under construction
TO think rational before i act
before i say things that may be heartful to someone else
put myself in other peoples shoes to see how maybe i would feel in their position.
REalize make-believe,
make believe people and tha way they "make believe" how terrific their lives may be, because yooh know they say "the grass is always greener on the others side."(which is very true)
yooh dont know some of the things people go through behind closed doors.

meeh; is under construction
so that i dont think about the needy wants in my life
think about how much love its takin to get to to where i am today
not think so much on material things rather than the "thought that counts"
Im rebuilding myself and destroying everything that has ever contributed to wearing meeh down and ripping the layers off my strength

I dont know how long its going to take to rebuild myself , but when im done i hope to be big and sturdy , Im goin to have so much strength nobody NOBODY , will be able to tear meeh down.

IDK...bored

WEll i rly dont kno wwhat to say
i have alot on my mind , but if i brought up examples
my "friends" would kno exactly what im tlkn about so
im just goin to keep quiet about certain stuff anyways
so i guess ill just list my lil issues im havin now

HOME COMING was jus brought to my attention and all my plans are ruined so idk i dont kno if im still going or not , my school isnt tha best at throwin parties so i dont want to spend money on one night and come dissapointed and pissed off! i happens evey year so idk im just not expecting much of it this yr , i kind of already kno everything thats going to take place.

LYk i want to play sports ya kno to like keep in shape of w/e but
i think its beginning to be too much to handle along w/ skoo work,
friends , and sports. LYk its taking a toal on meeh .
Every weekend im happy i can sleep all day , well not now anyways
because im a cross country manager now so that eliminates my wk end sleep
i dont usually get during the skoo days.
I think residing where i do is the reason for my problems
lyk i think that all i would have to do is change skool
get a fresh start and AT LEAST half of my problems would be gone
idk im bored so im justsayin whats up right now

I did yooh wrong

write now im listening to the song "I did you wrong"-pleasure-p
and idk i love this song .
IT reminds me of the things you think about when getting out of a relationship.
One of my "friends"(wes) once told meeh that love is like playing a board game.
At the time i laughed and jokes on him i said "what like playing sorry" l0l, but what he said was so true. At the end of the game theres a loser a winner , sometimes extra people play in the game and their are more losers than one.
Sometimes people feel cheated when the game is over.
Peolple get hurt.
And every blue moon theres a tie and both peolple walk away happy.
SOmetimes the winner in the game knows they cheated to win , but at the end of the day
your still a loser. Cheaters never win l0l i kno a certain someone is gonna read this msg l0l but im not writing this just for yooh , this is just whats on my mind right now .
Everyone wants to win the game , too bad everyone can't.

9/14/08

well idk what to say i have alot on my mind but i dont know how to write it all down or make sense out of it , it rly doesnt even make sense to meeh(idk)

lyk im complaining about the most simple things and losing sleep or really small situations when it really isnt that serious and there are way more important things to worry about in this world , i talked to a my friend the other day and remeninced(SPELL CHECK l0l) about a old conversation we had about 6 months ago and how things dont usually turn out as yooh dream about when you're young . How yooh change as a person you values change , like for example

when you're a kid yooh want to be a singer, a fire fighter , actor ,lawyer , doctor, basketball player, and every couple yrs yooh change your mind to lower and
lower standards like you arent good enough to do what you've wished and hoped for idk that is just what was on my mind at the
moment.

IM g00d enough

i ask myself questions regarding to if im g00d enough or not .

im findin out alot of things about myself and the people i surround myself by, the people i want in my life and people who i've pushed aside, and they belong in the place that they are in .

I shouldnt have to ask myself the questions that i do , and i am just know figuring out all of these things, i am good enough just being meeh and other people expectaions dont matter to meeh.

It doesnt matter who i sit with at lunch or who i hang out with on the weekends, what sports i play at school . I AM G00D enough just the way i am .