erased;

i've erased many people out of my life, i feel dont belong there
maybe i've done it the wrong way or all too close together
but im very fortunate to have some of the people in my life who
are here for meeh no matter what nd
i dont beg for friendship and love
that should come naturally and its not there then
so be it
yooh move on
i've found somebodii who makes meeh happy
never once made meeh mad or cry
i kno that ;that will probably come , because no relationship is perfect
and everyone had their up and downs
i feel like i kind of mad a dumb move in my past , but im learning from that
and realizing whos there for BRia nd whoo sitting around wait to see meeh fall

<3 river flow of emotions at the moment

well i guess everythang is everythang right about now
aint nothin bad happnin in my life..so far l0l
not worring about the unimportant things in life
;now focusing on my wants and goals

WHats on my mind at the moment

im dippin outside the box from now on

im the type that understands when things arent

going your way , its the time to try something new;

so as of now this my second try

i dont know if it'll work but

they say when you want something

u'll never give up

so i guess ima say

im never givin up

maybe i'll cope with the situation

im gonna try my best

cause right now im only thinking about me, myself and I

well okay im done thats just whats on my mind at the moment

UNder-construction

meeh ; is under-construction
im building myself from the ground up to express the good qualities in myself.
Im changing myself to be a better person
and overcome some of the obstacles i go through from day to day
FOr myself to think wiser
choose better desicions for myself , so that i can help the people around meeh.
TO learn more so im not ignorant to some of the situations average people go through.
SUrround myself with the people that are goin to take part in rebuliding meeh, and maybe even rebuild themselves.

meeh; is under construction
TO think rational before i act
before i say things that may be heartful to someone else
put myself in other peoples shoes to see how maybe i would feel in their position.
REalize make-believe,
make believe people and tha way they "make believe" how terrific their lives may be, because yooh know they say "the grass is always greener on the others side."(which is very true)
yooh dont know some of the things people go through behind closed doors.

meeh; is under construction
so that i dont think about the needy wants in my life
think about how much love its takin to get to to where i am today
not think so much on material things rather than the "thought that counts"
Im rebuilding myself and destroying everything that has ever contributed to wearing meeh down and ripping the layers off my strength

I dont know how long its going to take to rebuild myself , but when im done i hope to be big and sturdy , Im goin to have so much strength nobody NOBODY , will be able to tear meeh down.

IDK...bored

WEll i rly dont kno wwhat to say
i have alot on my mind , but if i brought up examples
my "friends" would kno exactly what im tlkn about so
im just goin to keep quiet about certain stuff anyways
so i guess ill just list my lil issues im havin now

HOME COMING was jus brought to my attention and all my plans are ruined so idk i dont kno if im still going or not , my school isnt tha best at throwin parties so i dont want to spend money on one night and come dissapointed and pissed off! i happens evey year so idk im just not expecting much of it this yr , i kind of already kno everything thats going to take place.

LYk i want to play sports ya kno to like keep in shape of w/e but
i think its beginning to be too much to handle along w/ skoo work,
friends , and sports. LYk its taking a toal on meeh .
Every weekend im happy i can sleep all day , well not now anyways
because im a cross country manager now so that eliminates my wk end sleep
i dont usually get during the skoo days.
I think residing where i do is the reason for my problems
lyk i think that all i would have to do is change skool
get a fresh start and AT LEAST half of my problems would be gone
idk im bored so im justsayin whats up right now

I did yooh wrong

write now im listening to the song "I did you wrong"-pleasure-p
and idk i love this song .
IT reminds me of the things you think about when getting out of a relationship.
One of my "friends"(wes) once told meeh that love is like playing a board game.
At the time i laughed and jokes on him i said "what like playing sorry" l0l, but what he said was so true. At the end of the game theres a loser a winner , sometimes extra people play in the game and their are more losers than one.
Sometimes people feel cheated when the game is over.
Peolple get hurt.
And every blue moon theres a tie and both peolple walk away happy.
SOmetimes the winner in the game knows they cheated to win , but at the end of the day
your still a loser. Cheaters never win l0l i kno a certain someone is gonna read this msg l0l but im not writing this just for yooh , this is just whats on my mind right now .
Everyone wants to win the game , too bad everyone can't.

9/14/08

well idk what to say i have alot on my mind but i dont know how to write it all down or make sense out of it , it rly doesnt even make sense to meeh(idk)

lyk im complaining about the most simple things and losing sleep or really small situations when it really isnt that serious and there are way more important things to worry about in this world , i talked to a my friend the other day and remeninced(SPELL CHECK l0l) about a old conversation we had about 6 months ago and how things dont usually turn out as yooh dream about when you're young . How yooh change as a person you values change , like for example

when you're a kid yooh want to be a singer, a fire fighter , actor ,lawyer , doctor, basketball player, and every couple yrs yooh change your mind to lower and
lower standards like you arent good enough to do what you've wished and hoped for idk that is just what was on my mind at the
moment.

IM g00d enough

i ask myself questions regarding to if im g00d enough or not .

im findin out alot of things about myself and the people i surround myself by, the people i want in my life and people who i've pushed aside, and they belong in the place that they are in .

I shouldnt have to ask myself the questions that i do , and i am just know figuring out all of these things, i am good enough just being meeh and other people expectaions dont matter to meeh.

It doesnt matter who i sit with at lunch or who i hang out with on the weekends, what sports i play at school . I AM G00D enough just the way i am .

speed bumps behind meeh

What happens when tha past comes back to haunt yooh
like yooh've tried so hard to keep going in life but somehow yooh cant the speeds bumbs that stopped yooh in your path come back to do it again and why? why to they keep coming back ??? why wont they just leave yooh alone.I wonder somtimes why everything is set to happen the way it does and i understand that ppl and situations are supposed to come into your life to make things better or so that yooh can learn from the mistakes yooh make , or see other ppl make the mistakes. Why ???
because when this happens to meeh i forget about the destination i am trying to reach and somehow the rode block wont leave , by the time it does its hard to get back on track , just an analogy to the way im feeling right now. just trynna get back on the rode and leave the speed bumps behind meeh .

IM JUS MEEH

I AM JUS MEEH:
Like it or not; i like eating cereal out of the cup, and eating hot dogs with meeh NOODLES; i eat peanut butter right out of the jar, i guess im kinda wierd but this is meeh...im very blunt, so if yooh dont want my opinion dont ask.
People have their own opinions of meeh but it really doesnt matter;you can think what yooh want... but thats just it {THINK}yooh really dont know meeh like yooh think u do...some guhhz think im antisocial thatz not it at all;just trying to find out who my real friendz are and thatz all i need in my life, i have no time for tha pretend thing , im alwayz looking for the real people who gone alwayz have my back no matter what. DOnt get meeh wrong I have my opinions of people too.Im just speaking my mind and being honest.
I like writing poetry and blogz; it helps express meeh ! I hate when people come to meeh with he say she say,,,im so over all that bs...This why i have a selective amount of friends we dont play all that if i slip and say something about you..why hide it?!?!?! "yeah i said it"...but no lie im not into mess alot {{{try to keep myself out all that}}}i try to be the nicest person to people, but yooh can only take so much, sometimes you have to let people know your not a dormat for them to step on...YOu think you kno meeh ,but only if yooh really knew this girl inside...not many people kno meeh ..THE REAL MEEH!!! because when i try to be serious about things they think im joking ..nobody ever takes Bria serious ...nd i wonder why that is???im a very serious person;i dont joke much.
To meeh this is what life is. i know older people reading this are goin to say "this lil girl dont have a clue what sruggle and pressure is!" but theres not a pin point age on when yooh learn about all that!!! i have just as much sense as yooh do. I say i am a good child some of the people i know give into pressure and listen to what other peopl say they should do. Meeh im not about all that ima do what i wanna do ,,,nobody can make yooh do anything but i keep the good influences around meeh to show meeh the differences between meeh and the people doing what they have no buissness and what consequenes they face because of that...now im no angel ( HEY IMA TEENAGER TOO) but i aint out here doing what most other kids do,
I look at the kids playing outside and sometimes i just wish i could go back to those years when there were no worries about anything..Where your perfect day is going to the park with mommy and daddy and coming home to watch you favorite cartoon on tv. You got in "time out" when you said a bad word like "shut up" (lol) and things you may have heard from an older sibling or family member ;those dayz when you were maybe two and you brain waas like a spunge when you older sister or brother would say something you would have to repeat infront of mommy or daddy.When you learned to put your toys in your toy box and clean up after yourself .
Those were the good ol' days ;now at as a teenager you get in trouble for saying other words{not shut up lOl} and trying to fit in and find yourself and fit in with a group of friends , for lieing , and being disobedient(spell check)
but

everything happnes for a reason

i guess so in the end i guess i'll look back on highschool and wish i was back in the scenery of the people i hate to be around now...things always get better ...sigh

THE DEFINITION OF LOVE

THE DEFINTION OF LOVE
lOVE: CAN IT REALLY BE DEFINED???
Its just a feeling, an emotion. A feeling when you hear that certain persons name or when they call you and you see their name on the caller id; they way your face lights up jus talking about them;when you notice the things you used to get mad about you get over quick! ; just being with them is good enough for you; when you see them hurting it hurts you just as bad as it hurts them.
And that ;that right there is my defintion of love. When you love someone always; you will alwayz love them; even if your not together anymore, they will always have a part of your heart, no matter what they did you'll still care ...even when you say you dont ....Oh you care!!!haha because you once loved this person...you cant and never will change that
I used to say you cant love more than one person ...but of course you can because you can love a person in so many different ways..loving them like your family or you lover ...even when you may have loved someone at one time and things didnt work out maybe yall have moved on ...but you still have love for that certain someone its just that you LOVE THEM ur not IN LOVE W/ THEM and thats okay because you can't change that...Well now yooh kno the way i feel about the word love ...(feel free to cmnt on it mmkay)